sweet happiness

i'm so happy today :) i feel in such a flow with intuition and and energy that is connected with everyone and everything :)

not so long ago in indonesia i woke up one day and i felt my lungs were bigger, i felt more space and i could really BREATHE a lot more air in :) it was a really beautiful moment! but now i feel that but much mooooOoore! it's amazing! like if i could breathe the whole ocean in :)

there are some moments in life like this, when one feels exactly on the right path :) when everything seems to have found its way and life feels simply light and easy and sweet and happy :)

even one of my favorite musicians has an album with my name on it. and like a friend told me the other day - 'it's for you! enjoy it' :) the music is wonderful and everyone should enjoy it

driving in bajawa

one of the best moments in indonesia was riding on a motorbike with david - my friend from sumba & flores who is a philosopher farmer. one day he took me to his orchard and showed me 3 fruits i had never seen before in my life :) i tried them all and them he told me to try the fruit from the cashew tree - not the nut, but the fruit :) and i loved how that new taste fitted my mood. back on the motorbike i asked david to go to the crater of the volcano close to bajawa - he had never seen it! and i told him i like the beatles so the whole way there he sang me good old beatles songs :D
isn't it beautiful how some moments last forever?

what is there to know?

indonesia was really great :) its waves are still reaching me. and just the other day i was humming this song in bali. now i hum it in lisbon while bits of indo strongly move all over me.

the bag is still closed

haven't felt like unpacking yet. now i have another bag to unpack, the one i took to the north of portugal last week. so 2 packed bags in my room. and no rush.

thank you!!

i feel really grateful for my family and friends and for the gods and the spirits and the space and the immensity of things out there that i feel but i can't even name and for all the safety in my trips and for the sun and the rain and the rainbows and the green of palm leaves and the fascinating colors of the indonesian coral and for the awesome people i met on this trip and for the less awesome people too and for the amazing days and for the less amazing days that are still always quite amazing because this whole thing we do is pretty spectacular and for all the great books i read in the last 4 months and for air asia and emirates and easyjet for flying me home safely and for the 'pasteis de nata' here in lisbon :) and for my lisbon tai chi class where i let the balance happen here too. and i thank me too, even though i don't think the balinese can do that ;)

and thank you for your comments and emails and text messages and energy sending across the oceans! you are a huge part of all my trips :) and everything would have been different without you or if you had shared different things with me. that would be another life, another planet, another sky.

terima kasih for everything!

unpack?

time is going quickly. well, time goes by at a slower pace in indonesia. now i feel slower than most people around me here in lisbon. there is so much information around with tvs and traffic and advertisement that just processing it seems to make time pass leaving no time to simply be.

and the rash is still going. it's funny, as parts of me are still in indonesia and parts of me are clearly here in lisbon... every time i scratch my body i feel i'm in bali.

but i'm not, i'm in lisbon. and i haven't felt the urge to unpack yet, fully aware of the immensity of things and feelings and smells and spirits and particles of bali that i carried home with me. also... there is no calendar telling me when to do it! in bali there are auspicious days for everything you do. so which is the auspicious day for unpacking when one comes home from bali?

another thing is shocking me... there is no one thanking anyone here!!?! in bali everyone is at all times thanking their ancestors, the demons, the good spirits, the rain, the sun, the money, the neighbor, the family, the dead, the living, the air, the space, the balance, everything! but here we go on doing our things and don't take the time to thank anyone!

being back

it's funny to be back. i'm different and lisbon is different and the world is different. yet it feels like i'm back. somewhere, somehow, in a way. i'm close to my best friend and we're close to my ocean. in "the honorary consul" graham greene says that the friends you share your childhood with, seem to never grow old. and i think it's really beautiful how they keep parts of you that no longer live anywhere else. this usually blows my mind. but now i'm in such a tranquil acceptive mood that i just smile at it and think that of course it is like this, and i think it's lovely :)

meanwhile i got a crazy allergy on my last days in indo. i have a rash all over my body and it itches like crazy. it started on the first day of the reiki course and i actually think it came from all the moving of energy through me. skin is something that always fascinated me (some of you with fabulous skin diseases know how much i admire them!) and i think it's the perfect part of my body to show me how strongly this reiki course affected me. my skin makes the border between me and the world, and other people, and other things. as you know, i often don't feel it there, and merge into the world, or another being or another thing. of course with all the bali healing and all the exchanges of energy and all the demons and the spirits around me in bali... that has clearly been in revision! also... the allergy is making me be all swollen and it makes me look at how much space i take in the world. and at an embryological level, skin comes from the same cells that later create the nervous system - at some point in the beginning of this great adventure they are together :) and that brings me back to a part of me that has been totally shaken up in the last however many months and has been changing and adjusting and exploring and this rash for me shows how things get so much out of balance to find equilibrium again, it shows it visually so that i don't forget that this great feeling i have at the moment is the result of a lot of work, a lot of determination and a great deal of inner strength :) it's not that i just feel like this because i'm having a good day, but i worked hard to get myself here! and that is a different thing entirely :)