in indonesia it's already 2010 :) and some part of me is also one year ahead of the other parts of me still in 2009 here in portugal. and i go on island hopping :) i love it! from quiet a island to a messy island to an island that seems to be a still image and not a moving thing at all to a chaotic island to a curious island to an excited island to an island of love to an island of friendship to a sweet island of wisdom :) i love exploring them all. when i feel it's enough i hop on to the next one, looking back at how much i've learned at that island i now see at a distance. on to 2010 now ** it looks like an amazing island!
Thursday, 31 December 2009
happy 2010!
in indonesia it's already 2010 :) and some part of me is also one year ahead of the other parts of me still in 2009 here in portugal. and i go on island hopping :) i love it! from quiet a island to a messy island to an island that seems to be a still image and not a moving thing at all to a chaotic island to a curious island to an excited island to an island of love to an island of friendship to a sweet island of wisdom :) i love exploring them all. when i feel it's enough i hop on to the next one, looking back at how much i've learned at that island i now see at a distance. on to 2010 now ** it looks like an amazing island!
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Monday, 21 December 2009
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Monday, 14 December 2009
open up your heart and read away **
i've recommended the book to many of you by now ;) but here is a reminder! amazing book :) read it when it feels right! (and if you want to read it before the film comes out you need to hurry up! or liz will forever look like julia roberts....)
Sunday, 13 December 2009
m u y h a p p y
this might possibly be the happiest moment of my life :) it's definitely a moment of a new sort of happiness, another stage in the joy of life, a very beautiful wave in my whole ocean, a peaceful yet super exciting new phase of me.
it moves a bit like the easiness one feels with this music. or walking by the beach in rio de janeiro just before the sun sets. and i enjoy this moment with the awareness that i got myself here :) that i am responsible for this happiness :)
i feel really thankful to the planet and the stars and myself and to everyone who has always told me that i had to go on living my life my own way and to continue inventing my path as i move along :) and i'm also thankful to people who told me i should stop doing what i was doing to settle in a more conventional lifestyle - it always makes me see how much i want to go on doing what i've always done. and here i am, soon to be 32 and truly happy with where i choose to be :D
thank you world for being so great!!
it moves a bit like the easiness one feels with this music. or walking by the beach in rio de janeiro just before the sun sets. and i enjoy this moment with the awareness that i got myself here :) that i am responsible for this happiness :)
i feel really thankful to the planet and the stars and myself and to everyone who has always told me that i had to go on living my life my own way and to continue inventing my path as i move along :) and i'm also thankful to people who told me i should stop doing what i was doing to settle in a more conventional lifestyle - it always makes me see how much i want to go on doing what i've always done. and here i am, soon to be 32 and truly happy with where i choose to be :D
thank you world for being so great!!
Friday, 11 December 2009
sweet happiness
i'm so happy today :) i feel in such a flow with intuition and and energy that is connected with everyone and everything :)
not so long ago in indonesia i woke up one day and i felt my lungs were bigger, i felt more space and i could really BREATHE a lot more air in :) it was a really beautiful moment! but now i feel that but much mooooOoore! it's amazing! like if i could breathe the whole ocean in :)
there are some moments in life like this, when one feels exactly on the right path :) when everything seems to have found its way and life feels simply light and easy and sweet and happy :)
even one of my favorite musicians has an album with my name on it. and like a friend told me the other day - 'it's for you! enjoy it' :) the music is wonderful and everyone should enjoy it
not so long ago in indonesia i woke up one day and i felt my lungs were bigger, i felt more space and i could really BREATHE a lot more air in :) it was a really beautiful moment! but now i feel that but much mooooOoore! it's amazing! like if i could breathe the whole ocean in :)
there are some moments in life like this, when one feels exactly on the right path :) when everything seems to have found its way and life feels simply light and easy and sweet and happy :)
even one of my favorite musicians has an album with my name on it. and like a friend told me the other day - 'it's for you! enjoy it' :) the music is wonderful and everyone should enjoy it
Thursday, 10 December 2009
driving in bajawa
one of the best moments in indonesia was riding on a motorbike with david - my friend from sumba & flores who is a philosopher farmer. one day he took me to his orchard and showed me 3 fruits i had never seen before in my life :) i tried them all and them he told me to try the fruit from the cashew tree - not the nut, but the fruit :) and i loved how that new taste fitted my mood. back on the motorbike i asked david to go to the crater of the volcano close to bajawa - he had never seen it! and i told him i like the beatles so the whole way there he sang me good old beatles songs :D
isn't it beautiful how some moments last forever?
isn't it beautiful how some moments last forever?
what is there to know?
indonesia was really great :) its waves are still reaching me. and just the other day i was humming this song in bali. now i hum it in lisbon while bits of indo strongly move all over me.
the bag is still closed
haven't felt like unpacking yet. now i have another bag to unpack, the one i took to the north of portugal last week. so 2 packed bags in my room. and no rush.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
thank you!!
i feel really grateful for my family and friends and for the gods and the spirits and the space and the immensity of things out there that i feel but i can't even name and for all the safety in my trips and for the sun and the rain and the rainbows and the green of palm leaves and the fascinating colors of the indonesian coral and for the awesome people i met on this trip and for the less awesome people too and for the amazing days and for the less amazing days that are still always quite amazing because this whole thing we do is pretty spectacular and for all the great books i read in the last 4 months and for air asia and emirates and easyjet for flying me home safely and for the 'pasteis de nata' here in lisbon :) and for my lisbon tai chi class where i let the balance happen here too. and i thank me too, even though i don't think the balinese can do that ;)
and thank you for your comments and emails and text messages and energy sending across the oceans! you are a huge part of all my trips :) and everything would have been different without you or if you had shared different things with me. that would be another life, another planet, another sky.
terima kasih for everything!
and thank you for your comments and emails and text messages and energy sending across the oceans! you are a huge part of all my trips :) and everything would have been different without you or if you had shared different things with me. that would be another life, another planet, another sky.
terima kasih for everything!
unpack?
time is going quickly. well, time goes by at a slower pace in indonesia. now i feel slower than most people around me here in lisbon. there is so much information around with tvs and traffic and advertisement that just processing it seems to make time pass leaving no time to simply be.
and the rash is still going. it's funny, as parts of me are still in indonesia and parts of me are clearly here in lisbon... every time i scratch my body i feel i'm in bali.
but i'm not, i'm in lisbon. and i haven't felt the urge to unpack yet, fully aware of the immensity of things and feelings and smells and spirits and particles of bali that i carried home with me. also... there is no calendar telling me when to do it! in bali there are auspicious days for everything you do. so which is the auspicious day for unpacking when one comes home from bali?
another thing is shocking me... there is no one thanking anyone here!!?! in bali everyone is at all times thanking their ancestors, the demons, the good spirits, the rain, the sun, the money, the neighbor, the family, the dead, the living, the air, the space, the balance, everything! but here we go on doing our things and don't take the time to thank anyone!
and the rash is still going. it's funny, as parts of me are still in indonesia and parts of me are clearly here in lisbon... every time i scratch my body i feel i'm in bali.
but i'm not, i'm in lisbon. and i haven't felt the urge to unpack yet, fully aware of the immensity of things and feelings and smells and spirits and particles of bali that i carried home with me. also... there is no calendar telling me when to do it! in bali there are auspicious days for everything you do. so which is the auspicious day for unpacking when one comes home from bali?
another thing is shocking me... there is no one thanking anyone here!!?! in bali everyone is at all times thanking their ancestors, the demons, the good spirits, the rain, the sun, the money, the neighbor, the family, the dead, the living, the air, the space, the balance, everything! but here we go on doing our things and don't take the time to thank anyone!
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
being back
it's funny to be back. i'm different and lisbon is different and the world is different. yet it feels like i'm back. somewhere, somehow, in a way. i'm close to my best friend and we're close to my ocean. in "the honorary consul" graham greene says that the friends you share your childhood with, seem to never grow old. and i think it's really beautiful how they keep parts of you that no longer live anywhere else. this usually blows my mind. but now i'm in such a tranquil acceptive mood that i just smile at it and think that of course it is like this, and i think it's lovely :)
meanwhile i got a crazy allergy on my last days in indo. i have a rash all over my body and it itches like crazy. it started on the first day of the reiki course and i actually think it came from all the moving of energy through me. skin is something that always fascinated me (some of you with fabulous skin diseases know how much i admire them!) and i think it's the perfect part of my body to show me how strongly this reiki course affected me. my skin makes the border between me and the world, and other people, and other things. as you know, i often don't feel it there, and merge into the world, or another being or another thing. of course with all the bali healing and all the exchanges of energy and all the demons and the spirits around me in bali... that has clearly been in revision! also... the allergy is making me be all swollen and it makes me look at how much space i take in the world. and at an embryological level, skin comes from the same cells that later create the nervous system - at some point in the beginning of this great adventure they are together :) and that brings me back to a part of me that has been totally shaken up in the last however many months and has been changing and adjusting and exploring and this rash for me shows how things get so much out of balance to find equilibrium again, it shows it visually so that i don't forget that this great feeling i have at the moment is the result of a lot of work, a lot of determination and a great deal of inner strength :) it's not that i just feel like this because i'm having a good day, but i worked hard to get myself here! and that is a different thing entirely :)
meanwhile i got a crazy allergy on my last days in indo. i have a rash all over my body and it itches like crazy. it started on the first day of the reiki course and i actually think it came from all the moving of energy through me. skin is something that always fascinated me (some of you with fabulous skin diseases know how much i admire them!) and i think it's the perfect part of my body to show me how strongly this reiki course affected me. my skin makes the border between me and the world, and other people, and other things. as you know, i often don't feel it there, and merge into the world, or another being or another thing. of course with all the bali healing and all the exchanges of energy and all the demons and the spirits around me in bali... that has clearly been in revision! also... the allergy is making me be all swollen and it makes me look at how much space i take in the world. and at an embryological level, skin comes from the same cells that later create the nervous system - at some point in the beginning of this great adventure they are together :) and that brings me back to a part of me that has been totally shaken up in the last however many months and has been changing and adjusting and exploring and this rash for me shows how things get so much out of balance to find equilibrium again, it shows it visually so that i don't forget that this great feeling i have at the moment is the result of a lot of work, a lot of determination and a great deal of inner strength :) it's not that i just feel like this because i'm having a good day, but i worked hard to get myself here! and that is a different thing entirely :)
back in lisbon everything feels different :)
the trip was perfect!
on the last morning in bali me and constanza from germany sat at the front seat of the bus from ubud to the airport in denpasar. we met there, almost siting on each others laps! and we had so much to talk about! same age and similar moments in life and somehow taking similar bits of ubud's energy with us. it was great to sit there and share what the last months had done to us :) and suddenly we realized we could tell the other things that you don't tell everybody :) and we couldn't care less about the fact that we had 8 other western tourists behind us listening to the whole conversation ;) anyway, i got off at denpasar airport. she went on for the last day in kuta beach with a german friend. we said goodbye with broad smiles, sharing the joy bali puts in you!
at the airport i found out that the fancy european food i had bought at bali budha the day before.... had gone bad!! oh no, i admire bali budha beyond what would be a normal level of admiration!!! mainly because they make the best spelt and walnut pancakes on Earth and they manage to top them up with dark maple syrup from canada all the way in bali!!!!! so i was sad that my last bali budha treat was spoiled! which actually ended up making me feel very determined to go back to bali one day and sit at their tables again :) or order their food at my favorite ubud rice field ;) i love that restaurant!
the flight from denpasar took me to singapore carrying a huge kite i got for my nieces and nephew :) singapore airport was so clean and quiet and organized and everything was shinning and i felt all over my body this strange feeling of having left indonesia! there was an underground now!! an underground!!!!! and i got to the clementi underground station to meet sara :) we chatted from that minute until the minute i left her apartment the next day in the evening and it was clearly not enough because i spent a lot of the time on my next flight thinking like if i was still chatting with her :) anyway, for me singapore is sara :) during these 4 months lots of travelers have raved about the city, recommended the arts museum, a few galleries and other interesting things to do in the city... but for me singapore is sara and her favorite restaurant in little india and the amazing bookshop where i spend my money with the joy to be in a place where books are so well respected!! oh, and singapore is also those amazing desserts :) like the ones you find all over south east asia, but in singapore they are served in really clean places often inside of a mall with air con and the experience is just perfect!
on the flight from singapore to dubai i got to think of all the consumerism i saw in singapore after so many months of being in places where there was nothing to buy. i love the contrasts of traveling :)
i liked the airport in dubai a bit more this time around. i missed canadian jay and somehow bumped into bits of our conversation there 4 months before.
then london!
i arrived in london right on time :) and it was cold! not too cold, just really nice cold that made me put a long sleeve t-shirt on for the first time in too long! that made me happy :)
all the time at gatwick airport i was smiling thinking to myself "i don't have to stay here!! this is NOT home anymore!" and that felt great :) london is so NOT my city! and it's good to know it!
i checked in really early for my last flight and spent many hours at gatwick reading "eat pray love" still feeling ubud all over me.
finally i sat on the easyjet airplane and i really wanted to fly asap as i knew 2 little princesses and a handsome little man were waiting for me in lisbon :) but they couldn't close the luggage door of the airplane!! so we had to change airplanes!! anyway, the new one was better :) and we got here with a 2 hour delay... but we all got here fine :) and i could hug the kids and my parents and my sister and it felt GREAT!
i have never had a trip like this one :) when i feel so happy to be here now and not there! it was the perfect amount of time, the perfect place, i was lucky all along the trip, i don't have any complaints and i still chose to be here now! maybe it was some magical power in indonesia that changed me ;) or maybe it was just me! but traveling inside me as i stepped around indonesia was exactly what i needed at this moment in life :) and i'm very, very happy i did it :)
now i miss the atlantic ocean!! going out to see him and smile at him and enjoy his freshness and his amazing sound xx
to sum it up really shortly, i'll just say i'm HaPPY :)
on the last morning in bali me and constanza from germany sat at the front seat of the bus from ubud to the airport in denpasar. we met there, almost siting on each others laps! and we had so much to talk about! same age and similar moments in life and somehow taking similar bits of ubud's energy with us. it was great to sit there and share what the last months had done to us :) and suddenly we realized we could tell the other things that you don't tell everybody :) and we couldn't care less about the fact that we had 8 other western tourists behind us listening to the whole conversation ;) anyway, i got off at denpasar airport. she went on for the last day in kuta beach with a german friend. we said goodbye with broad smiles, sharing the joy bali puts in you!
at the airport i found out that the fancy european food i had bought at bali budha the day before.... had gone bad!! oh no, i admire bali budha beyond what would be a normal level of admiration!!! mainly because they make the best spelt and walnut pancakes on Earth and they manage to top them up with dark maple syrup from canada all the way in bali!!!!! so i was sad that my last bali budha treat was spoiled! which actually ended up making me feel very determined to go back to bali one day and sit at their tables again :) or order their food at my favorite ubud rice field ;) i love that restaurant!
the flight from denpasar took me to singapore carrying a huge kite i got for my nieces and nephew :) singapore airport was so clean and quiet and organized and everything was shinning and i felt all over my body this strange feeling of having left indonesia! there was an underground now!! an underground!!!!! and i got to the clementi underground station to meet sara :) we chatted from that minute until the minute i left her apartment the next day in the evening and it was clearly not enough because i spent a lot of the time on my next flight thinking like if i was still chatting with her :) anyway, for me singapore is sara :) during these 4 months lots of travelers have raved about the city, recommended the arts museum, a few galleries and other interesting things to do in the city... but for me singapore is sara and her favorite restaurant in little india and the amazing bookshop where i spend my money with the joy to be in a place where books are so well respected!! oh, and singapore is also those amazing desserts :) like the ones you find all over south east asia, but in singapore they are served in really clean places often inside of a mall with air con and the experience is just perfect!
on the flight from singapore to dubai i got to think of all the consumerism i saw in singapore after so many months of being in places where there was nothing to buy. i love the contrasts of traveling :)
i liked the airport in dubai a bit more this time around. i missed canadian jay and somehow bumped into bits of our conversation there 4 months before.
then london!
i arrived in london right on time :) and it was cold! not too cold, just really nice cold that made me put a long sleeve t-shirt on for the first time in too long! that made me happy :)
all the time at gatwick airport i was smiling thinking to myself "i don't have to stay here!! this is NOT home anymore!" and that felt great :) london is so NOT my city! and it's good to know it!
i checked in really early for my last flight and spent many hours at gatwick reading "eat pray love" still feeling ubud all over me.
finally i sat on the easyjet airplane and i really wanted to fly asap as i knew 2 little princesses and a handsome little man were waiting for me in lisbon :) but they couldn't close the luggage door of the airplane!! so we had to change airplanes!! anyway, the new one was better :) and we got here with a 2 hour delay... but we all got here fine :) and i could hug the kids and my parents and my sister and it felt GREAT!
i have never had a trip like this one :) when i feel so happy to be here now and not there! it was the perfect amount of time, the perfect place, i was lucky all along the trip, i don't have any complaints and i still chose to be here now! maybe it was some magical power in indonesia that changed me ;) or maybe it was just me! but traveling inside me as i stepped around indonesia was exactly what i needed at this moment in life :) and i'm very, very happy i did it :)
now i miss the atlantic ocean!! going out to see him and smile at him and enjoy his freshness and his amazing sound xx
to sum it up really shortly, i'll just say i'm HaPPY :)
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